My mullet curls and my food comes on Leaves...

Sawatdee kha! (hello)

Well. I'm in Thailand. Who would have thought. I'm trying to learn less is more so this is an attempt at a summary...let's see if it happens.

Things you should know:

1. Squat-tay Pot-tay...aka toilet on ground with feet marks on each side that you squat over. Did I mention Thai's don't use toilet paper? So I've been fortunate to have had a large enough bladder to hold it till we get home to the western toilet that lives in our room, so I've refused to use one yet...but I'm sure my luck will run out soon enough. But don't think I'm safe yet...you can't flush toilet paper...even in our precious western toilet. So there is this nice little waste basket that lives next to it and yes we put it in there....SO GROSS. But its ok.

2. Miniature Ants...Everywhere!!! Yesterday we were laying on our beds talking and all of a sudden I look down and see that the corner of my bed and half my pillow are covered in Ants. OMG I almost died! But PTL for wet wipes...

3. Food. We go to the market and eat every meal. Its awesome! Imagine cooking an awesome meal at home...then imagine showing up at a stand and having the same meal for less than a $1 and no clean up. Yes sometimes you're not sure you are eating chicken, but other than that its great. Yesterday I ate noodles for breakfast and they came wrapped in a leaf. Last night I ate something off a stick that was supposedly chicken but from the size of the spine, ribs and what I swear was a full wing, I'm guessing bat. We saw a Thai Chicken in a pen on our walk yesterday and they are really skinny...but really tall, so there is not way that was chicken. Other suggestions from the team were Rat, Hamster, and dog.

4. Dogs and cats. You know how we have foxes that run around or mice? They have dogs and cats. Wild cats! Millie and Calli would never be able to tough it here. Cats literally just wonder through the market and dogs are just chillin' on the side of a road. The only "pet" I saw was a pig chained up and I was informed that it wasn't probably a pet. I chose to ignore that its leash chain was connected to the side of a restaurant. So for my sanity and the innocence of heart I am saying pet.

4. Markets...why don't we have these? You can get a pile of cooked duck heads (don't worry when they serve you it they cut it up and throw out the beak) or you can go for the pig leg with all the shin and hoof attached or some live eels or roasted insects or my favorite tiny hot peppers (see ssection labled peppers below). Right next to all of this in the next tent are some of the cutest clothes I've ever seen (don't worry mom they only come in a size zero (so I can't buy them)...remember I'm in Asia. Seriously everyone is so tiny). But what I could buy was a Cath Kidston purse!!! Yes that's right. I kept seeing them everywhere and then I found it! So instead of $110 I got it for $25. It was a beautiful day. And very practical...I needed a day bag that went across my body ok? It just happens to be my favorite designer and floral.

5. Transportation. So we get picked up from the airport (ps the coolest building ever...how is that in a 3rd world country?) in a covered truck...aka a truck with a bench on each side, a roof, and a gate across the back. Don't worry of course there were no seat belts and it was all open on the sides. It reminded me of a ghetto version of the tram we took at universal studios. We got taken to the night bus in this too...in rush hour for 2 hours...I'm not sure how we didn't die from the fumes. So the buses we road around town? No one talks! Seriously. It is rude to talk on a bus! And we had like an hour ride to the train to take us to the temples. We got shushed a lot by our tour guide. Thank goodness Thai's have a lot of grace for "farangs" aka foreigners. We rode a boat too. The water is Brown. Brown. This is probably why we can't drink any water from the tap. Its crazy most of the people that live on the water are in extreme poverty. Like metal scrap houses. So different from the US. To drive from Bangkok to Chiang Mai we took a 10 hr night bus. Let me tell you something, the Thai's know how to make a bus. Seats that recline fully, have a pop up foot rest and come with pillow and blanket provided. It is so strange, I'm in a third world country with extreme poverty and extreme luxury.

6. Rain...You think you know rain until you come to Thailand during their rainy season. Flash flood has an entire new meaning. Rain drops so big that in less that 5 mins you are wading through the streets up to your mid-calf. The adorable little floral raincoat from Target is not totally waterproof I found out. Better than nothing but...i was still soaked. Dad that plastic rain suit...GOLD here. The first time it rained we were on a prayer walk going to a bunch of the Buddhist temples in Bangkok. The second was Yesterday in Chiang Mia. Our dirt road to our house was flooded and we had to wade through it to go get dinner. The streets were so flooded that when cars drive by you can only seen half of their tires and I have no idea how all the motorbikes drive in it.

7.(which should be #1) Heat. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG it is sooooo hot and humid here. Everything sticks to you all the time. My hair is so curly and with my horrible hair cut I got...it looks like a mullet. I change clothes probably 4x a day and shower at least 5x. I know...you are all so proud. I have never felt so gross in my life. And guess what? Culturally they don't wear shorts above their knee or tank tops!!! 99% of everyone I've seen has been wearing jeans and 60% of those are SKINNY JEANS...can you imagine? And girls were wearing cardigans. And they weren't sweating...so weird. I'm intrigued. But my SPF 50 is doing its job. I don't even have a tan line (side note...they sell whitening cream! You know where we would look for self tanner...they have whitening cream. The whiter you are the higher your class and the more beautiful you are. So sad, b/c we all can't get over how beautiful and tan they are.) Oh and dad thanks for all the bug spray...we will use it all and the bug relief stick is in high demand...Brynn's bug bites are the size of silver $$.

8. Housing...Ok so one thing I love about Thailand is that there aren't "bad" parts of down exactly. Its all mixed in which gives it a much safer feeling. There will be a beautiful sky scrapper apt building and right against it are scrap metal houses. There will be a nice shopping center and right in front of it people have stands selling chicken. There are luxury cars driving next to rusted old work trucks. It is so beautiful. They live life together.

9. Everything is soooo Cheap...The average meal costs the team 250 Baht. That equals a little over $7...That covers our entire team! There are 7 of us! That means that each of our meals is about $1. Its crazy!!! And a 2L bottle of water is like 25 cents. Its crazy. And the food is AMAZING and the portions are perfect and normal.

10. Peppers. OK so Bik, who was our tour guide in Bangkok is from the south and said that all he has eaten is spicy food since he was born...so remember he has a crazy spicy tolerance. So he takes us to dinner at the market and orders a bunch of dishes for us to try. He says one is on the spicy side. I'm eating it and go to take my last bite of it and pick up what appears to be a red and green pepper. I think to myself, I shouldn't eat this, but naturally put it in my mouth. I'm chewing and swallow and think that wasn't bad. About 2 secs later I can feel this heat rising in my mouth...OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG my tongue had knives stabbing it. I almost died. I was shaking and crying and laughing and screaming all at the same time. I was chugging water and eating ice cream and nothing would make it stop! Apparently the smaller the pepper the hotter it is well I had not 1 pepper but 2, 1 inch long peppers. It burned for at least 20mins. I had to suck on ice cubes to keep it numb the entire rest of the meal. Then Bik who was dying laughing informed me they were for decoration not eating...who puts decoration in a sauce? He then jokingly ate one to make me feel better, but chewed it twice and spit it out! Now if he can't eat it who can? Well me apparently. Don't worry I'm alive, just a few taste buds and brain cells short.

OK so much for that summery. You are probably wondering, isn't she on a mission trip? Where is all the ministry she's doing? Well we start tomorrow when our translator gets here :) These last few days were spent learning about the culture and praying and team bonding. So the next blog post will probably be more ministry focused. Don't worry donors you didn't pay for a vacation! ;) Also I'll tell you about fisherman pants next time too.

Oh one more thing...You know how I'm short and well my feet don't touch the ground...imagine flying for over 17 hrs with your feet dangling...OMG my Kankles are insane!!! My feet and ankles were so fat that I couldn't even put my TOMS back on. They've gone down a bit but are still fatty. After the bus ride they were so bad again I couldn't get my Chacos on...Thank goodness for adjustable straps...

OK so my nicknames so far are lil pepper, lil flasher (oh I walked all over Bangkok with my skirt caught up in my backpack...not once, but twice...thank goodness for spandex shorts.), lil kankles/lil fatty foot, and more to come I'm sure...

Ok well we are off to the market for Lunch! Oh one more thing...I get up by 7am every morning! Can you believe it? I was the first one up this morning!!! Love you all and miss you dearly!

Love from Thailand! xx
Lil Blogger